Eliot would have to stop himself mid-leap for that revelry throne, remembering what happened the last time he accepted a position of great power sight unseen. (There was a lot of fine print. Primarily: Your Sex Life and You, How to Live Like a Monk Without Exploding.)

But! Despite taking that second to go, pun fully intended, oh god, he will absolutely put his butt in that vacant chair. Because who would pass up the chance to be Bacchus? And okay, sure, it will also help people, but shut up about that.